Without a sense of humor, you'd die of embarrassment

I think childbirth is as messy as it is to prepare the mother for the messiness that lies ahead. One day you're wearing your best maternity work suit, the nicest shoes that still fit on your swollen feet, mascara on your lashes, your hair blown dry just the way you like it. Then suddenly your lying on a delivery bed, wearing nothing but a thin hospital gown, the sweat making your hair stick to your contorted face, breathing as rhythmically as you possibly can while a world of friends, family and strangers are all staring intently at places you never shown anyone but those closest to you. This is your "baptism by fire" into motherhood. From this point on you'll be trying to conceal you're bare breast when your infant pulls the blanket off your shoulder while nursing. You'll completely forget that morning routine you once had that involved showering, applying makeup and blow drying your hair. You'll be answering the door in spit-up covered pajamas at 2 p.m. And when you manage to leave the house you'll find yourself escaping with baby food on your shirt and your hair pulled into a ponytail. Of course your priorities will shift completely. You won't believe you ever thought it was important to always look sharp in public. You'll find infinite value in wearing clothes with lots of pockets. Instead of jewelry, you'll wear a lanyard with keys dangling from the end around your neck in order to keep both hands free. And, then this will shift, too. Your child will get a little older. You'll notice other mommies out and about in stained clothes and you'll decide to dress yourself a little better. Now, your children will embarrass you by bolting from the locker room while you're still struggling to get out of your swimsuit. They'll refuse to share with the children of people you thought you might impress. They'll throw up on the businessman sitting next to you on the plane. And this, of course, is just the beginning. But you'll handle it all with aplomb because as crazy as it gets, it never quite gets as messy as it was that day your baby arrived.